Sofía and Taylar Interview Transcription

Sofía: Hi, I’m Sofía.

Taylar: And I’m Taylar.

Sofía: Okay.

Taylar: Okay, first question. Uh, what is something you want me to love about myself?

Sofía: Um, hm. I think I wish you trusted yourself more. I think I wish you were able to like, I don’t know, love your first instincts, um, and not second-guess them. I guess, like loving your intuition, I don’t know. I think I wish you loved that a little more. 

Taylar: Oh, um… I don’t know, it’s kind of a hard one. Uh, I think… I think I wish you loved and trusted your efforts more, and your intelligence more. I think that, especially with some of the tasks that we do at this stage in our lives, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others and the progress of others, but that doesn’t diminish your own efforts, and I would like you to recognize your own efforts more, and thus not doubt your own intelligence and passions and things of that nature. 

Sofía: Hm. Why do you love me?

Taylar: That’s a hell of a question. Um, there are a lot of reasons. I think if I had to keep it down to like two sentences… I love you because I feel that in a very mutually beneficial way, we nurture each other, and I think it… I don’t know, I think that we, from when I first met you, I think I knew that I was gonna grow with you, and I saw something, some qualities in you that I don’t have and I think maybe you saw qualities in me that you don’t have, and I think that it kind of… I don’t know, I love everything about you, I love who you are, who you will be, and who you have been, so… Why do you love me?

Sofía: I think that the first thing that comes to mind is that you’re so like driven. Um, and not only that but I feel like with you, and together, I’m constantly learning. And I think, I don’t know, I never expected that or sought that in a partner, and I met you and you taught me so many things, and I feel like every day that I know you, I learn new things about myself, about you, about the world, about our relationship… Yeah, you teach me (Taylar: And you teach me.) the best things about myself.

Taylar: Yeah… Uh, what is our biggest challenge as a couple, and how can we resolve it?

Sofía: Hm, I think we have different communicating styles, and that’s always been difficult. I get angry quickly, and I shut down quickly, um, and I think that leads to improper, inaccurate communication. Um, I say things that I don’t mean, and you don’t say what you mean sometimes, um, and I think we can grow from it by continuing to tell each other when we notice that the way that we’re communicating is failing, um and I think we’ve done a good job of that. I think since the beginning of our relationship, we’ve become better communicators, but I think that there’s still a lot of growing to do with that. 

Taylar: I agree. I definitely was gonna say that, but in the same sort of tone as what you’re saying, I think that one of our biggest challenges is how-- how we were raised, and our different backgrounds and how that’s let us have different views on um, what love is, what affection is, and what communication is, but on the side of like love and affection, I think we were just raised on different views of how to show affection, and what that meant, and what that translated to as far as love, and I think now, as we navigate our romantic-- romantic side of our relationship, it’s understanding wh-- how each other’s-- how we express our own affection, like what we do, what that means, and… yeah. But mostly what she said. (Sofia chuckles)

Sofía: What is something we have learned during social isolation?

Taylar: The importance of some time alone. 

Sofía: That’s what I was gonna say too. 

Taylar: Definitely, um, I’ll definitely, you know, claim the more introverted side and-- of the relationship, and learning that though we love each other, and we love spending time with each other all the time, and doing everything together, it is not only like sometimes refreshing, but needed to just do tasks alone, or to sit alone, or to just be alone and respect each other’s alone time and whatever that means. And within that, sort of how to set boundaries about that time, and how to communicate needing space. 

Sofía: Yeah, I agree. I think it’s something I’m still like learning and trying to understand, um, because, I don’t know, I’m so drawn to you and myself when I’m with you, and sometimes I think it’s hard for me to realize that I need a second to myself, or like I need to kind of breathe to recharge and come back to you as my best self, um, and so I’m definitely still learning that. I think that was something you discovered early on and we’ve definitely been implementing that for you, but I think that it’s working on now, like, because we’ve been isolating together, re-teaching myself to be alone, and like how to thrive on my own, um… yeah.

Taylar: Yeah… That’s it!

Sofía: That’s it. (both laugh)